Being metaware leads to the recognition that blame cannot be justified. Blame is one of the most unproductive, harmful, yet common things we do to ourselves and to others. Blame distorts our understanding and interferes with our becoming more like the people we want ourselves to be. We might blame ourselves for things we have done, for not doing things we feel we should have done, and even for the thoughts we think and the feelings we feel. Self-blame can lead us to think of ourselves in a manner that makes lasting personal growth elusive, causing us to feel as if most everything we do is harmful. Such thinking diminishes our awareness of the parts of ourselves that we need to build upon to make lasting growth possible.
If we blame ourselves with sufficient intensity, a rebound effect can occur where, in order to compensate against uncomfortable or painful feelings, we convince ourselves that we are never the ones who cause a problem. When this happens we are likely to shift blame to others potentially damaging our relationships, causing frustration and anger.
Letting go of blame doesn’t mean that we can’t personally hope to change and grow towards becoming more like the people we want to be. Nor does ceasing to blame others mean that we stop making efforts to improve our relationships. On the contrary, when we cease blaming we open the door to the possibility of substantive and lasting change, which never could have been achieved with blame.
With a naturalistic understanding of why we act as we do, the basis for self-blame and blaming others dissolves. We become free to view our actions clearly, without the numerous filters which distort our perception. And without self-blaming, or blaming others, Naturalistic Humanists can take personal responsibility for their actions.