Not feeling ultimately responsible enables honest introspection without having to defend against feelings of guilt and shame, or at least having the recognition that feelings of guilt and shame are undeserved. This perspective makes it possible to reflect far more productively. To illustrate this idea consider the way that a behavior which may have been needed for emotional survival at one point in life can subsequently become problematic-
Imagine that as a young boy, Lamont was raised only by his emotionally unpredictable father who frequently shifted from loving and caring to rageful and mean. In such an environment Lamont inadvertently become mistrusting and wary of affection. If Lamont continued to have difficulty trusting and accepting affection as an adult, what originated as an appropriate coping strategy could become a major impediment to him participating in a healthy romantic relationship, or becoming a loving parent.
Let us suppose the adult Lamont has had several romantic relationships, but none have been long term. For the past six months Lamont has been dating Julie who is increasingly aware that something is wrong because every time they start to get close Lamont pulls away. Julie explains this to him.
Although Lamont heard previous partners express such concerns he dismissed them but because he highly values his relationship with Julie he takes her feelings seriously.
If however Lamont believes that his behavior originated from him, it could be too much for him to accept. He might become defensive and resist being blamed. To protect his self-image he could rationalize that Julie as well as his previous partners were just not the right long term partners for him. While this is not necessarily false, unless Lamont is open to self-examination, he may never find out the truth.
If Lamont were a Naturalistic Humanist he could consider the possibility of having a problem with long term intimacy without feeling embarrassment, guilt, or shame. He would know that he behaved in the only manner his determinants would have allowed.
Freed from blaming himself, Lamont might be open to exploring the issue with friends or even seeking out the help of a mental health professional. Eventually, Lamont may recognize that he indeed has been avoiding long term intimacy. With sufficient effort and effective support he may come to recognize that it is a coping strategy he embraced as a child — an adoptive behavior for circumstances which have long past.
This awareness is itself a potent determinant. Together with the love of a supportive partner, Lamont has a good chance of growing past his emotional challenge around intimacy in a way that is sustainable for the long term. But without the capacity to explore his behavior, free of blame and the unproductive feelings it engenders, Lamont might not have been willing, or able to make the journey.