Reflecting upon the problems challenging us can have value, but if this is where our focus remains, we risk overlooking other crucial information such as what we can learn from situations where we succeed.
The importance of focusing on our strengths and our history of overcoming challenges, is similar to the idea that in order to build a stable and resilient structure, we cannot start out on a foundation of mud. If the structure is going to remain standing, finding bedrock or other reliable load bearing strata for the foundation is essential. In science, new knowledge is also built on top of older knowledge, proven to be solid and reliable. People are often more inclined to focus on the characteristics they dislike rather than those they admire and there may be evolutionary reasons for this orientation.
For our earliest human ancestors who were vulnerable to predators, it would have been inconsequential to mistake the rustling of bushes for the presence of a tiger. The consequence, however, of ignoring the rustling and finding out too late that it was a tiger would be devastating, and likely detrimental to one’s chances of reproducing. Given the stakes, scanning for danger or negative consequences was a highly adaptive trait partially explaining why, seeing what we do not like about ourselves, or others, can be easier than recognizing what we do like.
To maximize our potential we need to become at least as aware of the myriad challenges we have all faced successfully, as we are of those challenges we have not yet overcome. No matter how small, if we don’t acknowledge our victories, we are not fully acknowledging reality, and ceding the foundation upon which we can build ever greater accomplishment. This understanding is especially true for people who feel dis-empowered and overwhelmed. In reality, most people have instances throughout their past in which they have demonstrated the strength they feel they lack, but for many of us, not overlooking our strengths requires a deliberate effort.